Platonic intimacy is seeing your friend’s car in the grocery store parking lot and parking so close to him that he can’t open his door and has the crawl through the passenger’s side.
Platonic intimacy is hot gluing four copies of Resident Evil – Code: Veronica to the ceiling of his hallway closet and seeing how long it takes him to notice that there’s four copies of Resident Evil – Code: Veronica hot glued to the ceiling of his hallway closet.
Platonic intimacy is watching the graceful curve of his body as he stretches in bed, fixating on the strip of skin where his shirt’s pulled up juuuust enough that you can sneeze on his exposed stomach and then run away while he’s distracted and bewildered by how super gross and unnecessary that was.
Platonic intimacy is sending him an e-mail that says, “The Harbinger of Boy Sauce is Upon You,” instead of just, like, texting him and letting him know you’re on your way to help him do his shots.
Platonic intimacy is calling him in the middle of the night and waking him up because you heard a weird noise outside that you’re about to investigate, and you need moral support and also someone to call an ambulance if you end up having to knife fight a racoon.
No, it’s platonic. If it’s romantic, you gotta’ have a rose between your teeth and one titty out.
I just want a rich business butch to make me her trophy wife and buy me louboutins and jewelry and take me to galas in a sexy tesla sports car and open the door for me in her sexy 3 piece suit and take my delicate hand as I arise out of the car in 6 inch louboutins and a red silk dress with a super high thigh slit and she walks me down the red carpet and into the gala honoring me for my work in my chosen profession because im her femme trophy wife but i also have advanced degrees in my field and I’ve written books and shit and she proof reads for me since I’m a lesbian that can’t spell and she’s my sexy power wife that wears power suits 24/7 and intimidates our kid’s teachers at school for pushing heteronormative stereotypes onto our child and says something at the end of the meeting with the principal like “and if I ever have to come down here for bullshit about my daughter rightfully defending herself I will make your life a living hell” and I’m at the curb in our tesla crossover because we respect the earth and my daughter says something witty about how the public school system is classist and it’s time for revolution and she wants a dog for her birthday but she’s only 10 and were not sure she’s ready for the responsibility and commitment of raising a pet but then I realize I want the dog so we go to the pet store and get a great Dane with black and white spots and name her daisy and the dog is also a lesbian. and also me and my wife bang in the tesla sports car.
the only thing that kind of urks me about karkats character arc or i guess just homestuck in general was that it was implied that we’d have to destroy the entire planet to get to this point of acceptance for those who are socially outcasted in the world. like karkats whole planet had to die and most of his friends to realize that his heritage is nothing to be ashamed of and that he was brutally mistreated growing up
it just implies that he would have never found that purpose or acceptance had he not destroyed the civilization he grew up in if he wouldn’t have completely obliterated the crown then things would have never gotten better for him and
actually you know what i think hussie was onto something here
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