[transcript: An xkcd I ruined for old time’s sake! PANEL 1: Rose Lalonde approaches the counter at a stand run by Jane Crocker. ROSE: Just this apple, thanks. JANE: That will be one dollar. ROSE: Exactly? No tax or anything? JANE: That’s right. PANEL 2: Rose stares at the apple. PANEL 3: JANE: …Is that a problem? ROSE: It’s just weird to realize that every other transaction in my life will be more complicated than this. PANEL 4: ROSE: This is like a platonic ideal exchange. An apple for a dollar. JANE: I see. PANEL 5: ROSE: Are we on a frictionless plane? Is a train leaving Chicago at 40 mph? Should I solve for something?? JANE: Okay, apples are $4.13 now. ROSE: That’s… probably better for us both.]
rose: I’m sure this all bequeaths a sense of accomplishment for you, you are cultivating within your realm, your radius. Look at all this verdant splendour. Certainly a sight to behold.
rose: None other can boast a hardworking lifestyle in the shadow of your tedium.
rose: But for what,
rose: an opulent display of waste. A vain show of outdated and unnecessary norms imprinted upon us by our forebearers, equally thoughtless and utterly concieted.
rose: You’re a symbol of gluttony, the sin in its truest sense. Consumption without regard to others, tossing what precious little we have to the dirt.
rose: I would rip you from this earth if not for the little restraint I have.
the lawn sprinkler she’s talking to: CHK CHK CHK CHK CHK FSSSSSSSHHHHH
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